


Yoga Class Is Fun

by Invah



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Yoga, Drabble, Humanstuck, Multi, Sollux peepin at booty, i am tagging it with Yoga AU and nobody can stop me, the fuck else do i use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-24 19:15:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6163702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Invah/pseuds/Invah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If only to avoid getting caught, you continue staring at your mat for the remainder of the hold. You have no idea how the fuck you're supposed to be doing it because you got too busy staring at hot booties instead of looking at instructions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yoga Class Is Fun

**Author's Note:**

> i have nothing to say for myself.

You're not really sure how it came to this, but somehow Aradia, Eridan, and Feferi had managed to drag you down to the gym to participate in a Yoga class. You are not a flexible person, nor are you the type to be caught working out. The only work out you need is when you stretch your fingers before working on an overnight coding project. But the three of them had apparently come to the agreement that your skinny ass needed to get some sunlight, and since you didn't want to go to the park, the next best (and laziest) thing they could force you to do was sit on and pose for about an hour and a half on a foam mat.

The four of you are standing at the counter checking in, the three of them mingling with the manager, Dave, behind the counter while you text Karkat about your horrible misfortune. He responds back with a slew of LOL's and tells you to suck it up. You frown, rocking on your heels and pulling at the hem of the pants you're wearing. It's tighter than what you're used to. You don't own a pair of stretchy pants, so Eridan _generously_ lended you a pair of his. “You know, you don't look too bad in my clothes, Sol.” He quips, grabbing your attention as he leans back against the counter, waggling his eyebrows almost suggestively at you. You slap a hand over your face and groan while Aradia turns to cackle, eyeing you up and down.

“You do look good in 'em! Even if you are all skin and bones. You're lucky Eridan is pretty thin himself. Yoga is a pain in the ass when you're wearing jeans.” She reaches into her bag, pulling out a water bottle and tossing it at you. You catch it clumsily, frown forever permanent. “You're gonna need that.”

“Ugh, gosh, it gets so boring sometimes I have to ice my water just to make sure I stay awake! Sometimes... I even bring _coffee._ ” Feferi pouts, waving a hand in front of her face as she hands over her gym card for Dave to inspect before he gives it back to her and ushers the 4 of you into the back of the gym. “Not that I don't love our daily sessions or anyfin!”

“Don't worry, Fef, we getcha!” Aradia chimes, wrapping an arm around the other girls shoulders. The two of them are about the same height, so they walk closely, heads leaning against each other snugly. You're a bit jealous. You wish Aradia would hug and comfort _you_ right now but she'd rather let you suffer in the back with Eridan while he yacks your ear off, taking things out of his duffel bag and shoving them in your backpack, making all kinds of a ruckus that it's way too early in the morning for. You don't have the energy to tell him to fuck off and stop fiddling with your shit so you let him do whatever the hell it is he's preparing you for before he finally stops and busies himself with his phone.

But then he goes back to fucking shaking you and messing around.

“FF, ED is bothering me.” You whine tiredly and she releases Aradia so she can whip her body around to face you two, stomping her sneaker on the floor with a squeak.

“Erifish, you leave him alone! You know Sollux isn't a morning person.” She narrows her eyes and puts her hands on her hips, making Eridan cringe.

“I didn't do anythin' wrong, I was just stickin' towels in his bag!” He puts his hands up defensively, but she walks back to wedge herself in between the two of you. You sigh happily and let her hug you protectively, resting your head on top of hers. Eridan makes a defeated sound, grumbling something about you being a huge man child. Whatever. 

“Alright, get your cuddly, grumpy butts in here, we're gonna start!” Aradia announces to the three of you as you enter a large, empty room in the back. There are about 15 people already in the room with their mats laid out, waiting, and Dave gives a silent wave for you all to head into the back of the group while he makes his way to front. You watch as he grabs a mat from the closet and lays it down at the head of the group, apparently leading the class. Kind of ironic, you think.

“Sollux can stand between me and Aradia for the session!” Feferi suggest excitedly, setting down her pink mat on the floor and leaving a space between hers and the other girls so you can put yours down. 

You hold up a hand and step away, shaking your head. “No thanks. I'd rather be in the back where nobody can fucking see me.” You slide your backpack off, letting it fall to the floor with a thud while Eridan and Aradia raise their eyebrows. They just shrug. The other man sets his stuff up in between the girl's stations instead.

“We'll be sure to shelter your embarrassing form from the rest of the world.” Aradia says, Eridan chuckling while Feferi pinches him in the hip for encouraging it.

“Yes, thank you, spare me the fucking shame. What would I ever do if 20 people with visible camel toe thought I was piss poor at 'doggy style'?” You roll your eyes, ignoring Eridan as he tries to correct you on the proper title for the position, unzipping your backpack to yank the mat Aradia let you borrow for today. It's a bit old, a faded black, but you don't really care. You lay it down and take a seat, yawning while the others chat for another 5 minutes until Dave calls out at the front of the room, telling everybody to get into position. The rest of the attendees sit down, facing forward and shutting up. You quietly groan and listen to the instructor as he tells everybody to sit and close their eyes, breathing slow and calmly.

You watch the others boredly for about 10 minutes, resisting the urge to pull out your phone and start up a game of Tetris. Anything would be better than this. And these fucking shorts were chafing your sides, too. You fidget around and try not to make a big show of getting the wedgie out of your underwear.

You spend forever zoning out until the instructors voice calls out, pulling everybody from their mediation. You scratch your stomach, watching them all get into “Upward Facing Dog” to begin with. You shift, laying on your stomach and then pushing yourself up. It's not too bad, and feels pretty alright on your back.

“Not too shabby!” Feferi whispers to you, looking back and giving you a wink. You shrug nonchalantly, yawning again. She giggles and looks forward, giving Dave her attention. You stay like that for a few minutes. Everybody else seems to be stretching and getting into it, but you don't really see the appeal. Maybe you aren't doing it right, but you're not sure if you really give enough shits to make the effort.

 

Everybody holds the pose for another 10 minutes. Dave calls out from the front, telling everybody to get into “Downward Facing Dog” next. You stand up, watching Feferi and Aradia stretch out their backs as Eridan bounces on his heels for a second. The three of them bend down almost simultaneously with the rest of the group and you follow suit after seeing Dave do it, getting a picture in your head, but you find it to be a bit more challenging than the last position. You groan, shaking on your tippy toes and fingers. You glance up to check how the others are doing theirs and find your stomach flutters almost uncomfortably because you realize you have a near perfect view of all three of their asses.

“Oh, come on.” You mumble awkwardly, looking away and adjusting your glasses a they slip down your nose. You can feel your cheeks heating up, and the temptation to stare hits you too hard to really resist. 

Well, _once_ couldn't hurt... 

You sneak a peek once more, eyes traveling to Aradia's bottom first. She was an average sized girl with big hips, and thighs you were used to resting your head on pretty frequently. You never thought to look at her this way before because she was your best friend, and you feel almost guilty for staring at her butt without her permission because you respected her too much to do it. Eridan and Feferi, on the other hand…

You quite shamelessly observe their behinds (oh well). Eridan was somebody you always thought looked pretty attractive, but his personality is what totally turned you off. Sometimes. You were almost jealous about how fit he was; muscular but in all the right ways that somebody who weighed 135 pounds and stood at 5 foot 7 inches should have been. He was 15 pounds heavier than you and about 4 inches shorter, so you couldn't help being slightly envious. But damn if he didn't have a hot ass. Why did bitches always have to be so good looking? And those tight yoga leggings that he was wearing didn't help you in any way. They didn't leave a lot to the imagination.

You pulled your eyes away, catching Feferi's next. Short, plump, adorable Feferi. The pants were too tight for her but still hugged her shape nicely regardless. She looked soft and huggable, attractive in her own way that matched her bubbly personality. Feferi was a cute girl who you wouldn't have minded getting a little cuddly with. If you ever had the guts to do it, you might've even asked her out. But you aren't stable enough for a relationship. You work too many odd hours and your eating habits were even worse. Not that she would probably be interested in somebody like you anyway. FF was way out of your league.

If only to avoid getting caught, you continue staring at your mat for the remainder of the hold. You have no idea how the fuck you're supposed to be doing it because you got too busy staring at hot booties instead of looking at instructions. 

 

You spend the next 30 minutes, between pose changes and breathing exercises and listening to Dave's shitty _eulogies_ , stealing quick glances at the other three and trying not to run away with your imagination. When things are all done, you sit down and pull your knees to your chest, taking a few moments to come back to your senses while the entire room livens up with chatter and the clattering of things being moved around. 

“That was a pretty good stretch! I'm getting kind of hungry, though. You guys want Subway?” Feferi rolls up her mat, huddling in close to Eridan so she can steal his water bottle, taking a big gulp of it. He leans against her, taking the bottle back when she's done and drinking from it himself. You don't realize it immediately, what you're doing, when you finally catch yourself staring at their lips. Ugh.

“I dunno, I was thinking of egg sandwiches from the deli. How do bagels and sandwich rolls sound?” Aradia stuffs her things messily into her gym bag, and you shove your face into your kneecaps shamefully when you find yourself eyeing her bare shoulders in her tank top.

God, you are the worst friend in existence. The worst who was ever spawned. You could not even fathom that you were doing his right now. You couldn't wait to go home. Go home and forget that you were making googly eyes at people who were supposed to be your friends.

“Sollux?” You flinch when you hear your name, lifting your gaze slightly to see Feferi tilting her head at you, eyebrows pulled together worriedly. “Are you okay? We're gonna go grab breakfast and then go back to Eridan's apartment. You should come with us!” She offers you a smile and you frown, shaking your head.

“Ha! Just let him stew. Sollux was too busy staring at our butts for the past hour, he's not quite back down to Earth yet.” Aradia teases, making Feferi's cheeks turn a light pink as she snickers.

“Yeah, if you're gonna be doin' shit like that, you ought to be a bit more subtle about it. It was really obvious. Flatterin', but obvious.” Eridan raises an eyebrow at you, drinking from his bottle again before pulling the strap of his bag over his shoulder.

Your jaw drops, and because of your lack of things to say, all you do is cover your face with your hands and fall back onto the floor. “Oh, my God. I'm sorry. Don't look at me. Don't fucking look at me. I'm garbage. I'm the worst, ever.” You blush, hard, the tips of your ears burning in humiliation. You just want to fucking scream.

“Awe, no, Sollux! It's okay, it's not a big deal!” Feferi crawls over to you, laughing and shaking you by the shoulder.

“Sshhh, don't worry, we really don't mind at all.” Aradia sidles up beside you, petting your head.

“Sol, please, as much as this amuses me, you're bein' a right fuckin' sack a' festerin' shamefulness, an' my eyes are gettin' tired a' lookin' at it. Just bein' in the same room as you presently is makin' me suffer secondhand embarrassment. Would you just get up already?” Eridan lightly kicks you in the side with the tip of his foot and you groan, swatting him away.

“No. Let me lay here and die.”

“Oh, for Christ's sake, Sollux Captor.” Aradia groans loudly.

You lay there miserably on the ground, not responding to them anymore. They all seem to sigh in unison and grab you, pulling you up to your feet. You attempt to rag doll in their arms to make it harder but Feferi and Aradia grab you by your arms as Eridan lifts your legs up, and they _physically carry_ you out of the gym.

“I can't believe we're actually doin' this.”

“Whale, he's not gonna move on his own!”

“This is the kind of bullshit you should expect from him by now, Eridan.” You whine and groan all the way to the car as they shove you in the backseats of Aradia's hummer, tossing their bags onto you. “Your mer-friends will keep you company in the back while I drive down to the deli, mister pervert.” Aradia chides, and you scrunch up your legs up as Eridan and Feferi hop in the car, sitting on either side of you. You shove your backpack over your face to hide yourself. 

 

You remain this way all the way to the deli, tuning out everything they try to say to you. And even though you adamantly refuse with your silence, Aradia still buys you a bacon and egg sandwich on a roll with extra cheese.


End file.
